St. Patrick’s Day. March Madness. Hell on Earth. PhadEats was in the mood for beer and revelry, but many of us were worried about the prospect of green beer being vomited on us by Villanova jersey-wearing meatheads.
So, a plan was hatched, one crazy enough to work: we would go out on St. Patty’s Day, alright, but ON OUR TERMS.
Dave is looking for something special tonight
Sam and Molly laid it out; we would do a Mexican bar crawl. Further, it was decided (by Ryan) that we would sample each stop’s nachos, and rate them (see the card here). What could go wrong? (spoiler alert: nothing does).
Our first stop brought us to Mexican Post (1601 Cherry Street, http://www.mexicanpost.com/). What motivated us? Was it the promise of delicious food and an electrifying atmosphere? In a word, no. Sam had $50 in Mexicash (I don’t know what they call it; it’s a gift certificate for there). Molly had a reserve $30, but that’s a dubious claim, as she’s had like $500 there over the last 4 months.
They sat our group of about 12 or 13 rather quickly for a busy bar/restaurant. That’s where the good stuff stopped happening.
It’s not like we found wigs in our food or watered down drinks, we just didn’t have a very pleasant experience (as is our wont). Ryan noted a breeze hitting our table, and it took like 4 hours for our drinks to arrive (the nachos came out much quicker than the drinks).
I don’t think I’ll have to describe the nachos after you see them. Look at them.
Now, we’re not a bunch of self-proclaimed nacho experts, but when some of the comments on these nachos sound like “Very basic/boring” and “not robust, I could have made it”, then you’re in trouble.
No further words needed, the rating is 2.5 out of 5 sombreros, and that’s generous.
Stop number 2 was El Fuego (2104 Chestnut St., http://elfuegoburritos.com/) . It pains me to even write one word about this place, because they didn’t have one very important element for our purposes: nachos. Now, don’t get me wrong, everything else was great: they ran out of margaritas, the beer tap didn’t work, and one of us died (find out next month). Besides that, it was great.
Ryan explains the scoring system
If this rating system was for a fun happy hour spot on a sunny day, this place would be great. We sat outside, the drinks (they managed to find) were cheap, and they had green chairs. Can’t beat that with a bate (Spanish for bat).
But, if if’s and but’s were candies and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas (there’s a saying like that).
So, El Fuego, may God have mercy on your soul, you get a n/a out of 5 sombreros.
To show we were open-minded about places with “El” in the title, we made the next stop El Rey (2013 Chestnut St., http://www.elreyrestaurant.com).
After Mexican Post and El Fuego, we could have been served a plate of cow chips with ketchup on top and had a laugh. Or one would think. El Rey was perhaps the most controversial place we went to (it was). The crowd was very divided. Most either really liked, or really disliked, these nachos (one was afraid of the chorizo-only option). Most agreed the structure and texture was good, but we all split up when it came down to the basics: chorizo being the only option, the cheese was not of the traditional shredded variety, and some were too full already.
El Rey nachos
Final score: 3.1/5 sombreros
Now we’re getting to the nitty gritty. The end of the night, we’ve eaten at 3 places already, and we’re tired (also, remember there’s drunken St. Patty’s Day people everywhere). What better place to wrap this up than at Jose Pistola’s (263 S. 15th St., http://www.josepistolas.com/). This is one of our favorite bars, but we usually just have a couple pops downstairs. We got the full treatment this night, grabbing a couple tables on the second floor and getting some nachos.
For brevity’s sake, let’s just say that everyone loved them. They elicited such comments as “stellar”, “right on”, and “I’m wasted”.
Jose’s wins the Nacho-off (Nachoff? Nacho Off?) with a score of 3.95/5 sombreros.
Bravo, Jose. Tonight, you are a campeón (champion in Spanish).
Next month: IT’S BURGER TIME!